My story is not always happy, but feeling is always right. I used to push all people around me to be happy when I was with them. I didn’t realize that not all what I want can be done.
I pretended to make everything was okay. I could be there all the times. I could be the only one angel for all people there. But what I did was totally wrong.
Their smiles were not smile, their bodies were there but not their souls and I still believed everybody was fine.
Am I good pretender? Nope! Day after day, It kills me. I was just like a zombie for my own happiness, not for them!
I lied that they were doing great. I lied that I loved what they had. I lied for everything, but tears never feel so wrong!
If I feel okay, why am I crying before ending the day?
If I feel okay, why do I keep looking for happiness outside?
Finally, I say what I’m feeling.
I cant be there for any longer.
I cant give a fake smile for them anymore.
I have to be my self, even I have to let it all go.
Why do I have to get a lot of money if I dont feel anything?
Let it all go…